Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
