I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
