no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize