just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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