you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
