And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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