if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
