Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hippo gnu deer
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize