I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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