hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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