70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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