My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
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His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything