So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.