we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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