I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
