did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
