She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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