There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
