Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
now i know why i became what i already was.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
