im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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