she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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