Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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