just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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