I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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