My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize