I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
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for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
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I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
tell me about the eggs
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