i just had sex bonerless
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
