You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize