If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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