No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
