you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
