why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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