You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
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I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
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czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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