This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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