He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
