one might say we're banned from that church
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
