youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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