i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
false alarm, still single
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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