Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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