I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
