Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she looked like the before picture.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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