I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
