Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize