3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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