there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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