Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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