He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
