Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
