I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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