New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize