I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize