i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
