No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
