He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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