im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
