I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
