Pants 0. Shit 1.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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