She is in my trunk
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
