ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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