Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
