dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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