Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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