I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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