I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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