It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
